Cee Greene
Ep. 001 Rehearsing For Life
Welcome to the podcast Your Life Interrupted: remarkable stories from everyday people whose experiences altered how they view themselves, the world around them, and even their place in the world. I’m your host Cee Greene and I’m thrilled to launch this podcast. For the past year, I have collected transformational stories that will capture your imagination and quite possibly prompt you to share your own story with me and our audience. I’ll begin with a moment in my life where simple events had an outsized impact on me and people around me. I was an unwitting witness to someone’s state of mind and that experience compelled me to fundamentally change how I interact with people – even to this day. And my moment happened in the last century. My story is what prompted me to collect other’s stories. In fact, I plan to collect a story from people in each of our 50 states. So listen up and maybe you’ll want to share your story too.
So, what can you expect from Your Life Interrupted? A lot. I think you’ll hear from people you’ll want to meet or know more about. These stories are alternately profound and funny. Outrageous and charming. Much like the people behind them. To give you an idea, I’ll just mention three people who I trust you’ll want to tune into.
First, there’s Nicole from New York who found compassion in the most adverse situation, or Layng from Tennessee who found his life’s calling in the most extraordinary way. Next is another Nicole, this one from Alaska – not sure how that happened but it did. Nicole found her passion and started a company which is about to take over the freezer section of your local grocery store. But what makes her moment almost unbelievable is because it started as a result of some devastating, life threatening news. Their stories and more are what you’ll find each and every time you tune into Your Life Interrupted. So, let me get started with my story.
It took place during first semester of college. That’s when I was directing my sophomore class musical, “Once Upon A Mattress” which is loosely based on the fairy tale, “The Princess and the Pea.” Anyway, we cast all the roles, found people for lighting, choreography, music and for the most part everyone was pulling their weight. We all seemed to be heading in the right direction. After each rehearsal, I give the actor’s their notes and we agree on what needs to be worked on. During this time, I notice one actor, who I’ll call Anna. Anna has a relatively small role, with a total of maybe 12 lines. Yet, every day she comes in and adds texture, nuance, and layers to her character. What is important about her role is that she is onstage before the curtain goes up. She establishes the backstory of the play and provides context. She effectively sets us up. So, while it’s not a big role, it is important.
Now we are one week away from opening night, and I’m getting super frustrated by the cast. It feels as if they are all just mailing it in. There’s very little energy, one of the leads is still getting her lines down, another one has decided to not project her voice, and another needs constant reminders for her cues. I should add, that this play is entirely volunteer. No one is getting course credit, no one is getting graded. I have little or no leverage to get the cast to rise to the occasion. And I am getting really irritated.
It took place during first semester of college. That’s when I was directing my sophomore class musical, “Once Upon A Mattress” which is loosely based on the fairy tale, “The Princess and the Pea.” Anyway, we cast all the roles, found people for lighting, choreography, music and for the most part everyone was pulling their weight. We all seemed to be heading in the right direction. After each rehearsal, I give the actor’s their notes and we agree on what needs to be worked on. During this time, I notice one actor, who I’ll call Anna. Anna has a relatively small role, with a total of maybe 12 lines. Yet, every day she comes in and adds texture, nuance, and layers to her character. What is important about her role is that she is onstage before the curtain goes up. She establishes the backstory of the play and provides context. She effectively sets us up. So, while it’s not a big role, it is important.
Now we are one week away from opening night, and I’m getting super frustrated by the cast. It feels as if they are all just mailing it in. There’s very little energy, one of the leads is still getting her lines down, another one has decided to not project her voice, and another needs constant reminders for her cues. I should add, that this play is entirely volunteer. No one is getting course credit, no one is getting graded. I have little or no leverage to get the cast to rise to the occasion. And I am getting really irritated.
So, at the end of rehearsal I really lay into the cast. To drive home my point I say, “In truth, there is only one person here who from day one has showed up, worked hard and as far as I am concerned is our exemplar. So, I would like Anna to take a seat, and I want everyone else to stand and give her a standing ovation. You can see each person’s face – there is surprise and a little irritation. But slowly everyone one rises and applauds. I point to Anna and say, “That’s who you should emulate tomorrow and for the rest of our time together. Because Anna is our gold standard.” And that was that. Everyone rallied, we did the run of the show and we were done. That was November.
Fast forward, to five months later. It’s April and because I was a Resident Assistant part of the college’s residential life, I get a call from the school psychologist. I’ll call her Marth Fox. Martha says I’ve checked your schedule and it looks like you have the next hour or so free. Can you help me out? I say sure. Martha explains that she is headed into a meeting but has a student who is waiting for her parents to pick her up and could I go for a walk with her maybe get a cup of coffee. And I agree. She mentions it’s Anna. I head over to the building and ask Anna if she want to take a walk. It was a sunny day so no need to stay inside. Anna agrees.
We walk and I start talking about the play and it all seems okay. But I feel this sort of heat coming from Anna. I know that sounds odd. But that is the only way I can explain the energy that is coming my way from her. So, we keep walking. I’m telling stories and asking her about her courses. Anna is responding – it seems like a very easy conversation. About 30 minutes into our walk, Anna stops abruptly, stands in front of me and asks, “Are we friends?” Again, there’s heat emanating from Anna and I know this is important to her, but I’m not exactly sure why. I also know, that it is crucial I am honest. I say, “Why do you ask?” I’m really just buying time to discern what’s at the root of her question. Anna replies, “Because you’re talking to me like we are friends. And if we are, then why have we never hung out?” Again, buying time I say, ”Well, I think when we did the play together, we developed a bond. But once the play was over, our circles didn’t overlap. You’re a bio-chem major which means you spend most of your time in the science center and I am political science and drama which means I’m always on main campus. I live on old campus and you live on new. Basically, our paths ever crossed.” I can tell this is not giving her what she is looking for and I can still feel this pent-up anger. So, I add, “You know what Anna? Here’s the thing. We can’t change the past. But here we are on a beautiful, random day enjoying each other’s company. Why don’t we enjoy this moment and call it a start? How’s that?” Across her face, through her eyes I watch her evaluate and choose which way she wants to go – with heat or with calm. It’s palpable. And in that moment, it’s like a storm breaking. Her shoulders relax, the air dissipates, and she gently nods her head yes. We walk a little further in silence. Eventually, I tell another story of some shape or form which no matter how many times I have replayed that scene in my mind, I have no clue what we continued talking about during the remainder of our walk.
Interestingly, some moments of that morning are as vivid as a technicolored photograph and others are a total blur. When time was up – and I’ll add this was pre-IPhones so I was not getting a text to let me know when Anna’s parents had arrived. I did a very analog thing and checked my watch. At about the time I thought her parents had arrived on campus, I walked Anna back to Dr. Fox. I do recall saying, “I’ll see you soon Anna.” And she looked at me and quietly said, “Sure.” Then quickly looked down as if embarrassed. That was one of the snapshot moments I’ll never forget. She looked embarrassed as if she had extracted something from me that wasn’t her so have.
Dr. Fox thanked me and very casually asked me to stop by later to talk about some other upcoming campus activities. I walked away shaken. Something larger than a walk had taken place and I felt as if I had just been through the looking glass. I walked to the dining hall got a cup of coffee and sat down across from my Head Resident, Eileen.
Interestingly, some moments of that morning are as vivid as a technicolored photograph and others are a total blur. When time was up – and I’ll add this was pre-IPhones so I was not getting a text to let me know when Anna’s parents had arrived. I did a very analog thing and checked my watch. At about the time I thought her parents had arrived on campus, I walked Anna back to Dr. Fox. I do recall saying, “I’ll see you soon Anna.” And she looked at me and quietly said, “Sure.” Then quickly looked down as if embarrassed. That was one of the snapshot moments I’ll never forget. She looked embarrassed as if she had extracted something from me that wasn’t her so have.
Dr. Fox thanked me and very casually asked me to stop by later to talk about some other upcoming campus activities. I walked away shaken. Something larger than a walk had taken place and I felt as if I had just been through the looking glass. I walked to the dining hall got a cup of coffee and sat down across from my Head Resident, Eileen.
I realized I couldn’t pick up my cup without spilling it – my hands were shaking so much. Eileen asked me what was going on and I described my morning walk much as I have done with you now. Eileen asked me if I wanted her to go with me to see Dr. Fox, I demurred and said I wanted to go alone. Partly, because I assumed there was something very personal, very private going on and if I had someone with me I might not get the clarity I needed to understand what had just happened.
It turned out that Dr. Fox had been working with Anna for the better part of the school year helping her manage her emotions. Obviously, I was never going to be privy to the details of Anna’s experience; nor should I. I just needed to understand what was going on – I needed clarity. Apparently, during all the sessions Anna had with Dr. Fox which were very frequent, she would speak about people being harsh, or unkind or dismissive of her. And I was the only person who she said was kind to her. That while everyone else ignored or disregarded her, I was the lone person on campus – who cared for her.
That knocked the wind out of me as if I had been hit full force in the gut. And I felt ashamed. I explained to Dr. Fox why I had called out Anna for praise to the cast. Even as I spoke the words, I realized I was just like everyone else. I hadn’t praised Anna for her. I wasn’t kind to her just to be kind. Rather, I had shown the light on Anna for my own purposes. It made me feel so low. The pain and isolation Anna must have felt was unimaginable to me. I was a self-absorbed 19-year-old completely oblivious to Anna’s pain.
And so, in that moment and for each day forward I have tried – and not always succeeded – to simply be kind. For no other reason than to make someone smile – a stranger or a friend, a work colleague, or a family member. In that moment when my life was literally interrupted, I changed. Again, I am no saint. I fail more often that I succeed but I am aware of the difference and I try to make a difference.
That is my story; my moment. I have so many more – not all quite so dramatic. And I’m sure you do too. Please subscribe today and become a regular listener to Your Life Interrupted: remarkable stories from everyday people whose experiences altered how they view themselves, the world around them, and even their place in the world. I am your host Cee Greene and I am thrilled you decided to join my podcast. But don’t keep it a secret. Tell your friends. Tell your family. Tell your colleagues – heck, tell the bus driver. We have some stunningly interesting and funny stories coming your way. So, thank you and come back. I’m Cee Greene with Your Life Interrupted signing off for now.